So I'm home.
Everything is a mess! I cant see my desk - i had to clear arm holes through the junk to reach my keyboard. And there are books all over my floor in piles and boxes because I thought it would be a good idea to throw away my bookcases right before I left.
Also I only have about $20 to my name.
AND its hot!
All this aside, lets talk about my going away present to some poor Korean boy...
I've been sick the past week from some mysterious food poisoning I picked up in Jeju Island so that basically whenever I eat I vomit uncontrollably.
Anyway, Saturday morning I get up, I have some spare time and there was breakfast prepared downstairs at the place I was staying so I thought.. ok, just a bit of rice, maybe a little soup and I'll be fine.
Unbeknownst to me, loitering in the kitchen was the Ajima (lady who owns the place and prepares the meals) and she proceeds to serve me a huge bowl of rice and equally huge amount of soup.
I didn't want to be rude - so I ate it all.
And I'm feeling fine, my friends come to help me to the airport, we ride the bus for about an hour, everything is cool. We check in my luggage and hit up burger king so they can have some breakfast. I'm not feeling the best but its still ok at this point and I'm thirsty - so I have a coke.
But then, afterwards, I decided I didn't want to leave the country without one last banana milk (the god of Korean beverages) so I find a convenience store and down one of those bad boys quickly before saying bye to my friends and going though customs.
I make it to my gate, sit down. I'm taking deep breaths at this point, telling myself I'll be fine.
I start to perspire... but its ok.. its fine. People are boarding the plane and I'm camping out, waiting for the cue to die down.
Then it's time. I get up and approach the boarding staff. I'm through, all I have to do is make it to the plane, take a seat, chill and it should all pass.
But then through the gate... an escalator.
I'm descending and it hits me, rising in my chest, a malevolent beast. I get to the bottom and there's nothing; the bridge is packed with people, an empty room and some Korean guy sitting at a desk with mysterious doors behind him.
So, I drop my things and run up to him and I'm all like "I have to go back there and vomit". And hes looking at me all confused and I'm doing vomiting hand gestures and looking panicked and looking at the doors and hes telling me no in Korean, ushering me into an elevator...
So I'm all whatever at this point, I'm hunched over, taking deep breaths, swallowing heaps. I get in the elevator and hes riding with me when it happens.
I see myself projectile vomit down the mirrored wall, he turns in slow motion with a look of horror at me and I'm trying to catch the vomit, its pooling on the elevator floor and I'm looking down at it and at my hands and at his face, all in the space of one floor.
When we arrive at the top I'm finished, we get out of the elevator and the doors close. He says something in Korean and the rest of the staff look at me.
One of them takes the vomit coated boarding pass from me, I'm still cupping vomit in one hand and running off to the bathroom.
I get there, wash myself as best I can - feeling fantastic at this point, having been relinquished of my daemon.
Only then to have to return to the gate, take my vomit coated pass from the hostess (who handled it between the tips of her thumb and index finger like the disgusting vomit coated plane ticket it was) and then, take the walk of shame... Back down the escalator, past the boy at the desk - his face still wrought with horror - down the bridge, and onto the plane, the last passenger.
Anyway, I sat down next to some importer-exporter Iranian guy with a big head who was on his way to New-Zealand to visit relatives? I smelt like vomit but needless to say, I slept like a baby for the six hour flight. It was amazing.
All aside, Korea was fun - as I expected.
I may this week, if time allows, post some photographs of the highlights of the ordeal.
If not, until next time, keep it real.
